Luton Town defender Tom Lockyer said he feared he was dying when his heart stopped and he collapsed during a Premier League game against Bournemouth in December, and added that he hasn’t ruled out returning to the sport should he be medically cleared.

The match on Dec. 16 was abandoned after Lockyer went into cardiac arrest 59 minutes into the contest before spending four nights in hospital, where he had an implantable cardioverter defibrillator device fitted to prevent a repeat of the incident.

– Stream on ESPN+: LaLiga, Bundesliga, more (U.S.)

It was the second time Lockyer has collapsed on the pitch away from the ball, the first time occurring in Luton’s playoff final win in May at Wembley.

Lockyer, 29, said he knew the December incident was more serious by the reaction of medical staff when he came to on the pitch.

Speaking on Sky Sports, he said: “I knew instantly this time was different. Last time I woke up from almost a dream, and this time I woke up from a nothingness, and I could see straight away from the paramedics and the physios and the club doctor that there was a bit more panic around.

“I was a bit disorientated, I couldn’t speak, I couldn’t move. I was trying to work out what was happening, and I remember thinking: ‘I could be dying here.'”

The defender went on to detail that he “was out” for nearly three minutes.

“After it happened in May, I have a little recording device under the chest — and two minutes 40 I was out for. I needed to have the defibrillator to shock it back,” Lockyer said.

“Obviously a massive thanks to the paramedics, the club docs, everyone who was involved that day because without them I wouldn’t be standing here.”

Lockyer said his father and girlfriend, who was seven months pregnant at the time, were both present at Kenilworth Road when he went into cardiac arrest.

Lockyer said whether he can return to playing is out of his hands, but he remains hopeful.

“That will be dictated by medical staff and specialists, but what I would say is that if there is a chance — obviously I won’t do anything against specialist recommendations — then I would love to.

“Obviously it’s far too early to say at this time, there’s a lot more tests that need to happen. But I wouldn’t write it off at the minute, but my priorities are with the baby.”

Lockyer has spoken to other players who have returned to the pitch with similar heart conditions, including Christian Eriksen, Daley Blind and Charlie Wyke.

“The one thing that was common from them all was, ‘Take your time to process what has happened,'” Lockyer said.

“In some ways I don’t think I have processed it, maybe because as athletes we’re able to deal with things differently and can compartmentalise.

“Maybe it will come back and bite me on the bum, but I’ve not really had any emotions since, I know I literally died but I’ve been quite numb about it. But my girlfriend is pregnant, due soon; that’s my priority.”

Information from Reuters contributed to this report.